| meh |
[27th of June, 2006] |
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haha ok received a message from Charlotte saying that I havant updated in a while.. which is true.. i have been rubbish at updating this... well I will get around to doing it propper soon!!!
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| Today |
[17th of May, 2006] |
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mood |
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 restless |
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music |
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Dead Gardens - Nightwish |
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Todays been a tough old day...
Last night was awesome fun! went bowling and played bingo for Charlotts bday party, was a total laugh and for me was a huge step forward in getting out and about more and not letting anxiatys get to me more... it was a really good time...
I think I mentioned a while ago about Ruth (my GF's) parents being really annoying about what dates she can come down for a job interview here... and if she gets the job it means that she can live down here alot closer to me and then our relationship can really start propper... just today its really getting to me how hard this is without her. I have been told that she is going to be allowed a phone interview... which is rubbish cause it means that I cant see her this month :(( (havent seen her since feb) but with her not having a propper interview and all other applicants having a propper one I dont think it will give her time to shine propper... hence, not a good shot at the job.. so im really worried, i mean , the charity already knows her, she has been with the charity as a supporter and worked as a voulenteer before so they know shes cool and can work well... it just started to worry me more today than usual.. makes me scared cause I dont know what will happen to us if this doesnt happen :(... I honestly feel that me and her are ment to be together and I know that if it is right by God then it will happen.. its just hard to cling to that .... i wish we could see the bigger picture like God can! :)... but then I guess I would be God... so that wouldnt be so good....
so yeah, thats where my mind is at at the moment.. in a state of wierd feelingness....
meh
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| .... what ever comes my way |
[11th of May, 2006] |
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mood |
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busy |
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music |
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End of all hope - Nightwish |
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.... there is this line in a song that I have been listening to alot and I thought I might share it with you all... I know its originally from an old hymn but a guy I knew once has writtin a new song and used it for the chorus... its quite good.
"What ever my lot, you have taught me to know. It is well, it is well with my soul"
You can tell it was kinda written a while ago :) what I understand it to mean is that.. whatever my life brings me, and in what ever shape or form it takes... God has taught me to know that it is well with my soul.. ie.. it might seem hard right now, but in the long run.. it will be ok.. it will be well with my soul... This really helps if I sing this when I start to get nervous when im driving when a panic attack is triggered...
.... am i rambling now?... i know im certainly using to many fullstops!........
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| Manic Day! |
[10th of May, 2006] |
Wow, well this is a post for yesterday because I didnt manage to update it then... what a totally manic day I had at work!
Everyone needed something from me, and it all needed to be done 3 days ago! crazy... this is on top of everything else that im supposed to be doing... I have only just completed my monday morning tasks which normally take me a few hourse cause on monday we had visitors in... so again the plan went totally out the window!!
Then home for 2 hourse before I had to dash out to drop some info off at a friends pub... then straight for a music practice... which was actually quite good because I got to play lead guitar for once and follow everyone instead of having to lead everything and play rhythem guitar... or the drums.... so makes a nice change! :)
Then home for sleep.... ended up chatting for 2 hours before I went to bed.. and thats about it! :)
I'll hopefully write something more interesting today about my day.... today :s.... im so elequant with words!... (i wish I can spell to!)
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